so i bought that cute headband but ummm i dont know where it is now.  hopefully it’s at work.

so i woke up this morning with everything and nothing on my mind.  im still in a season of my life where i am questioning God about everything.  like i said, i went to bible study last night and honestly there was a part of me that felt like i would have rather been at home doing something else or just anywhere else but at church.  i still feel like we are just recycling the same information, just saying the same thing over and over again.  an hour and a half to keep saying the same thing over and over again.  granted, im sure many people were blessed.  im not saying that i wasnt.  im just saying that we are amen-ing and glossing over stuff.  that’s all im saying.

got an email from a friend this morning talking about rick warren and his wife who is sufferning from cancer.  one of the things he said that still confuses me and sets me into a cycle of questioning is the fact that life is a dress rehersal for eternity.  i feel like what is the point for being here on earth then.  why not just go to eternity.  perhaps i need a paradigm shift.  im just trying to understand the whole rewards in heaven thing anyway – even as a christian.  mr warren also makes reference to the fact that in spite of many people praying for his wife, she is still suffering from cancer.   what are people praying for then?  doesnt the word of god say in psalm 103 that He heals all our diseases?  God says he isnt a man that should lie. now this is not to say that God wont eventually heal mr warren’s wife.  maybe it isnt for me to figure out.  maybe there are so many other factors that our finite human minds cant grasp. i feel like im one of God’s children that always asks ” why? but why? but how come?  but why?” 

sidebar – i saw this super cute leopard print headband at cache for $9 with 50% off.  i think i want it.

i will revist this later (not the headband at cache thing.  the God thing.  i will revisit the headband when i go to work today :0) ).  im going back to sleep.

oh yeah, im still encouraged.  confused but still encouraged.

so i just realized that the only thing holding me back is me.  i feel encouraged today.  not necessarily because i went to bible study but again because i realized i am holding myself back.

i love my job.  it’s a far cry from my past experience.  nice to work for a company that invests so much in their people.  it’s nice to work for a job that realizes that people have different management styles and that different people bring different skill sets to the table and those differences are actually honored, cultivated and appreciated.

ok well im about to eat another late night meal.  im super hungry.

Wednesday Morning Babble

well well well look who decides to show up??? me.  i know.  im such an intermittent blogger.  im so not worthy to be a part of the blogsphere.  oh well.

i need to get ready to go to sleep as i have to be to work at 7am.  i just dont believe that anything should occur prior to 1pm.  not even sunrise.

mr bently did a triple elimination tonight. 

i have been thinking about not getting my nails done anymore.  no one seems to be able to do my nails according to my specifications.  i did find this natural nail salon in my neighborhood.  it looks pretty inside.  i am so over going to salons that make me feel like im on an assembly line.  so cold.  you see, i am the type of woman who loves to be surrounded by lush, plush beauty.  i love warm and yummy experiences – from the food i eat (i have an awesome personal chef :0) ) to the cream that i use on my body.  Fredrick Fekkai has this rediculously awesome body butter that i desire to have in my life.  It is $65 dollars, worth every penny. (www.beautygrind.wordpress.com)

my roommate is a computer junkie.  she sleeps with her computer.  she needs patch.  that’s why she has twitching eye.

buh bye